Pairing/Character: Sam, Hider, Richard
Word Count: 1,826
Rating: PG-13 (Language, innuendo)
Summary: When they moved in together they were sure they were going to kill each other. Sam would never graduate from NYU and Hider would never reach any of her goals because they were both going to be dead at the hands of the other. But, of course, with the addition of hot neighbor boys, television on DVD, and DSL, things were a little more fun than fearsome. And then things got a little bit crazy ... but we just don't talk about that.
A/N: Yeah, so this is BEFORE the actual insanity starts. Uhm ... well, basically: Hider and I were making Sider icons last night (should be posted soon, relax) and I idly mentioned that writing a Sider fanfiction would be fun and then she flipped out and here we are! Snap Crackle Pop, the most insane fanfiction you will ever read, starring your two favorite people! We'll be taking adventures into various TV fandoms throughout this epic, so make sure to stay tuned to see just how crazy we can get.
And let us know what you think, because I am a feedback whore and Hider likes to feel like she is loved. ♥.
The box dropped with a resounding thud, wobbling slightly before stilling and remaining perfectly stationary in the doorway. She grinned triumphantly and stepped around the cardboard, walking further into the living room and trying to maneuver her way through dozens of identical objects. Her eyes narrowed when she heard her new roommate clunking up the stairs and she turned around slowly, just barely catching her best friend’s body as it flew through the air.
So maybe the doorway wasn’t the best place for her box of CDs. Sam snickered as Hider pushed herself into a sitting position on the floor, glaring fiery death at the uninjured girl.
“Box,” Sam pointed out, running a hand through her messy hair. Hider rolled her eyes.
“Um, yeah, DOORWAY, you stupid whore,” she shook her head and brushed dirt off her knees, frowning at the red marks on her skin. Sam shrugged her shoulders.
“Speaking of, how was the red light district last night?” she wondered, brushing her bangs out of her eyes as she stepped over the new coffee table to get to her friend. “Is it as fun as the home turf?”
Hider continued to glare, holding out her hands and pulling herself up when Sam grabbed them. “You got here before me,” she retorted, imperceptibly sticking her foot behind the taller girl’s ankle. “You should know.”
Sam shrieked as she tripped when she tried to turn around and Hider grinned triumphantly, avoiding her roommate’s flailing arms as she moved to sit down on a box. Sam huffed and regained her balance, glaring.
“You tripped me.”
“You tripped me first.”
“No, my box tripped you.”
“Same difference, hooker.”
“Oh, go back to your corner,” Sam waved her hand flippantly and turned to face the door, cocking her head to the side as she tried to figure out exactly how much work they had left to do before they could start unpacking. “Dude, how much shit do you have left in your car?”
“Not much,” Hider shrugged. “How much do you have left?”
“Like two point five boxes. How is it possible that you have more crap than me?”
“Because I spend my money on stuff other than shoes and CDs, Sam.”
“You make it sound like that’s a bad thing,” she blinked. “And you have just as many CDs as I do!”
“So not the point.”
“Then what is the point?”
“I had a point?”
“Oh my God.”
“Nothing!” Sam shook her head and threw her hands up in the air, exasperated. “I forget that I’m talking to you; intelligent conversation is damn-near impossible right now.”
“Hey!” Hider protested, standing suddenly. Sam blinked innocently and smiled, slowly backing up toward the door.
“So we should finish-FUCK!” she screeched as she stumbled backward over her box, rolling out into the hallway and landing by the stairs with a thump. Hider started laughing hysterically and slowly made her way to the door, gripping the frame to keep herself upright as she attempted to catch her breath.
She continued laughing, “Are you okay?”
“Like you care,” Sam pouted, pushing herself into a sitting position and standing up quickly. She pushed her hair out of her face and folded her arms in front of her chest, sticking out her bottom lip as Hider slowly stopped laughing, inhaling harshly to catch her breath.
“Of course I care,” Hider shook her head, chuckling a little. “Without you, who would help me carry my shit up all these stairs?”
Sam rolled her eyes and turned, starting down the stairs as Hider followed after her. “Yeah, what’s up with that? The weekend we move in and the damn elevator is broken. God hates us.”
“If only the devil controlled the elevators of the world.”
“Then they would never break! Life would be grand,” Sam agreed. “He loves us too much to break the elevator on our moving day.”
Hider caught up with her as they rounded the corner and reached the lobby. “Think we could convince neighbor boy to fly across the country and help us?” she grinned.
Stopping dead, Sam narrowed her eyes and shook her head back and forth, clearly annoyed. “Do you have to talk about him?”
“You know he is.”
“Well, God forbid we discuss the boy that you dumped because you were moving.”
“Three thousand miles is a little far to carry on a relationship, Hider,” Sam rolled her eyes and kept walking, smiling at the only other person in the lobby as she walked through the front doors of the building to get to her car. Hider groaned, irritated, and jogged to catch up with her, waving her hands frantically in the air.
“We did it!”
Sam furrowed her brow and turned, ignoring the box she had been lifting out of her trunk and consequently letting it fall to the ground. “Dude, we met on the internet.”
“So that totally does not count.”
Hider gasped, “You bitch! We are so over!” she stomped dramatically and stormed back into the building, holding her chin at a pompous angle as she folded her arms and started up the stairs.
Sam snickered and leaned against her car, crossing her legs at the ankles. And three, two…
“You were supposed to follow me!” Hider complained childishly as she appeared in the doorway of the building, pouting now.
“Yeah, well, you stepped on my cue,” Sam shrugged. “Figured you would get over it.”
“I did not step on your cue.”
“Um … the big dramatic break-up exit? Is SO MINE.”
Hider waved her hand absently, “Whatever.” She tugged a box out of the backseat of her car and handed it to her friend, grinning when Sam bowed slightly under the weight.
“What the fuck do you have in here? Bodies?”
“Yes, Sam,” Hider deadpanned. “I keep them in that pretty little box that says ‘DVDs’ on it in pretty red Sharpie.”
Sam’s eyes lit up, “DVDs? As in…”
“…Jess, Rory, Logan, Dick, and everything in between.”
“Okay, come on,” Sam walked back into the apartment building, ignoring the fact that her car was still open and they still had five or six boxes to unload. Hider stared, dumbstruck, completely confused as to why and how her best friend – her practical, safe, overly-paranoid best friend – was being so careless about their stuff.
The girl in question groaned as she started up the stairs, a bounce in her step as she adjusted her grip on the box. She didn’t respond other than that and Hider stood at the bottom of the stairs, placing her hands on her hips defiantly. “Sam!” she repeated.
“Dude, we’ll have the hot guy in the next apartment over bring them up for us, I WANNA WATCH JESS AND RORY.”
Hider blinked. Sam is a spaz, she shook her head and started following her friend up the stairs, wondering what the hell she was talking about. There was a hot guy next door?
Why did she not know about this?
“Wait, what hot guy?”
“Oh my God, the Kyle Gallner look-alike next door that I told you about when you got here this morning,” Sam retorted, placing the box gently on the floor as she entered their apartment through the still-open door. Hider scoffed.
“You did not tell me about him!”
Sam turned around and blew out a breath, furrowing her brow. “Do you ever listen to me?”
“No!” Hider replied. “When have I EVER listened to you?!”
“Well then it’s not my fault that you don’t know about the Kyle Gallner look-alike next door!”
“Yes it is!”
“No it isn’t, whore!”
“Yes it is, BIGGER WHORE!”
“Witty,” Sam said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. Hider rolled her eyes in response and huffed, turning around and heading for the door. Her shit was so not going to get stolen because Sam was an obsessive freak.
Kyle Gallner look-alike. Psshh.
She stopped dead when the next door neighbor opened their door and out stepped … holy fuck. He totally looked like Kyle Gallner. Hider’s jaw dropped slightly and the guy said something to someone else in his apartment before turning around so that they were face-to-face. He smiled a little and she swallowed – hard.
“Dude, how many times did you tape this-” Sam cut herself off when she noticed him and smiled brightly, brushing a hand through her hair in an attempt to groom it. “Hi, Richard.”
“Sam,” he laughed a little and looked back at Hider. “And you are?”
“Hider,” she offered quickly, recovering somewhat-smoothly. Sam snickered a little and Hider elbowed her impatiently, smiling at the loud “OW!” that the other girl let out. Of course, Sam smacked Hider’s shoulder in retaliation, and then Richard was completely forgotten about as they engaged in a full-on war.
He watched in amusement until one of them – probably both – noticed him standing there and stopped hitting. His grin grew and he shook his head, gesturing toward the stairs.
“Need a hand?”
“Please,” they chorused, and then eyed each other warily. He nodded a little and arched his eyebrows briefly, shaking his head in amusement as he brushed past them to descend the stairs.
They followed him simultaneously, and Hider shoved Sam absently when they reached the lobby. “Stop it,” Sam hissed, swatting at the other girl. Hider glared and nearly ran into the door on her way out of the building, earning hysterical laughter from Sam and a concerned look from Richard.
She rolled her eyes. Boys were so overrated.
“OH MY GOD!”
Hider raised an eyebrow and set down the scissors she was using to cut tape with, wandering down the short hallway to Sam’s bedroom to see what the problem was. She found the other girl sitting at her computer, eyes wide as she loaded website after website in a matter of seconds.
“OH MY GOD, HIDER!”
“OH MY GOD, I’M RIGHT HERE!”
Sam turned around and smiled brightly, gesturing toward the computer emphatically. “DSL!”
“I KNOW!” Hider mocked, laughing.
“I’ve missed my DSL,” Sam sighed wistfully and stood up slightly, hugging the computer screen tightly. When she pulled back she noticed the dust that was coating her pale green shirt and grimaced. “Ew.”
“Smooth,” Hider rolled her eyes and turned around, walking back into the living room. “If you want to watch Jess and Rory you’d better get your ass out here!”
Sam shot past her and flopped down onto the couch, reaching for the bag of chips that was sitting next to her on the cushions. Hider blinked and shook her head, sliding a disc into the DVD player and joining her new roommate on the couch, grinning as she hit play on the remote.
“Ready to cry?” Sam asked.
“Bring on the emo,” Hider nodded and pressed play on the menu, settling back into the cushions and grabbing impatiently for the bag of chips as the familiar opening scene played out across the television.
Chapter 1: TERROR